her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
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You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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