i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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