Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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