He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
