Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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