my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
