Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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