This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Shame - the story of my life.
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