I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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