a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
