Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
