i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
