dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
