I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Operation Purity has been aborted
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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