I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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