I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
