I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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