The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
