Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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