A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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