Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
