No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
