It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
