I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
