Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize