me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have fence marks all over my body
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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