She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
