Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
