Can Purell be used as lube?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize