If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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