im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
