3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
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Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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