Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My vagina is officially offended.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
