I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
