i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
