if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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