apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize