that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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