Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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