some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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