so explain again why im purple
no
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
