Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
love makes seman taste better
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
