"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life