Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
