maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize