I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
