Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize