She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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