Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.

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(310): View more from California

I think I won the penis lottery.

Fav 33 5889 864
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.

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(361): View more from Texas

I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

Fav 8 3142 1150
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(360): View more from Washington

We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

Fav 4 3665 1446
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(716): View more from New York

Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

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(979): View more from Texas

Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever

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