The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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