if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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