I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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