We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
