I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
