I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
