i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
