my mouth tastes like poor choices
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
