summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize