Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize