Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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