Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.