She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been