The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.