Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that