Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.