Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
