I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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