Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You did what with his pubic hair?
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