so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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