she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
