He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
is that a dick in a sweater?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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